The Onion

I ride a bicycle in a rural area and built a new office this spring. With a trailer, store delivery or a $20 rental I don't think I ever ran into any of the problems you describe. The bicycle has gone hunt camping rain or shine, I dirt bike, street bike and work a rugged job.

If I really needed it I have the wife's sedan which handles -40 winters and 50cm snow drifts just fine. Equipped with a roof rack and small trailer I can move myself just fine if the need is there.

Aside from hauling large trailers or campers I fail to see the utility of a pickup as described. Even when hauling plywood or construction supplies I've opted for the home depot van before even considering a pickup. If I wanted a 2*4 sticking out of the end I would have taken the Sedan anyway.

I think a lot of the truck owner mentality comes down to mental gymnastics or "What if?". Aside from rare use cases it just doesn't seem like the play. Even for yourself you mentioned the pickup is an edge case.

These are all things people consider when talking about truck owners. The rest of the world can see life without pickups, can justify life without pickups and even prefers life without pickups but for some reason... Pickup drivers can't stop talking about them as if they need to justify it to themselves more than to the world.