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Radical acceptance
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Parents: “son its ok if you’re gay, we know its hard being different in a small town like this but youre still our child and we will always love you no matter what”
Me: “mom, dad, i’m not gay.”
Mom: “really? you sure about that?”
Dad: “you’ve literally never had a girlfriend and would be the only straight guy in town who hasnt. hell even most of the gay kids have had a beard at some point.”
Me: “i’m not gay… i’m just horribly depressed and have zero self esteem.”
Mom: “shit. whoops. i suppose we better find you a therapist then.”
Me: crawls into a hole and dies of embarrassment
I mean, your parents thought of you, tried to connect, listened, then started lining up care.
Parents be winning.
If you thought you'd get out of your teenage years without death-by-embarrassment, you're kidding yourself.
To connect with you, my parents discovered the evidence of long term daily self harm when I was in a bike crash and was unconscious. They otherwise believed me happy and healthy. That wasn't a fun conversation in the hospital, with a concussion.
As a parent, most of us just want to help, but it's incredibly hard to know what's going on inside your head.
I was a kid once too, and I know how hard dealing with parents can be. But I also know that every time I opened up, they attempted to help. Give it a shot, unless they're actually abuse.
Even today when my daughter is a self sufficient adult, whenever she calls for advice, the first thing I do is bring my mind back in time to when I was that age and remember what was going through my head when a similar situation to hers arose.
It's not natural for me to do this. I have to make conscious effort. But it's proven to give me better perspective and increases her level of trust with me.
Yup, the age old "listen" and "consider things from their perspective." If you can master that (incredibly difficult), you'll master all forms of social interaction, not just parenting.