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I hate to give advice, but I feel bad for anyone who feels they’re an involuntary celibate. Like, being celibate or aroace is fine because you’re just being yourself. But the “involuntary” aspect of incel/femcel makes me feel bad for anyone going thru this.

So here’s what I suggest: super get into a hobby, be a nerd and specialist in it, and just enjoy yourself. Don’t do it to meet anyone, and stop comparing life to others. It’s just life, just have fun. The lack of sex shouldn’t be a defining quality to life or personality, a person is more than someone else’s love or interest.

But note one important thing! I am not saying people are boring or lacking anything, and that’s why they’re not getting love, attention, sex etc. I am saying one can use the hobby to alleviate the frustration that comes from something that one can’t control.

I think the anger and sadness people feel from a lack of love and attention should be reframed: dating, love etc. all have such a luck aspect to them, and so I don’t think anyone not getting any should feel like it’s their fault or they’re not enough. You’re just fine, the society we’ve created just makes it easier for some type of people vs. others, but it’s a work in progress and we can all be the change we want to see in the world.

Sorry for the Ted talk