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That's why I called it a poorly kept secret. It's a specific corner of the industry and anyone who has worked in it is probably well aware. But I think people in the industry definitely try to keep their behavior secret from customers, the big bosses, and outsiders in general. Are they successful in keeping things under wraps? Depends a lot on the who, what and where. But regardless, I've met many people who've never worked these types of service jobs, and think shows/movies like Waiting, Party Down, The White Lotus, Shameless etc, are exaggerations.
In my experience (at 5 or 6 different restaurants/bars in 1 college town and 1 tourist trap) they are not.
The only show I can think of that's obviously exaggerated, imo, is It's Always Sunny. But that's just because of the characters. If you strip an episode down to the plot points (trying to get on welfare/foodstamps to subsidize your slacker lifestyle, unhealthy rivalries with other bars/service employees, low standards re: job performance, constantly drinking on the job, etc) I'd say that it's pretty accurate as well.