this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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Operative word here is 'fear'. And 'helpless child'. You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that a significant proportion of the problems dealt with by marriage counsellors and the like are about people thinking that once they are in a relationship, all their adulting problems are over. Cos partner will then be the adult and they can then remain as a child with all their physical and emotional needs taken care of by the other person. Without them having to ask. This rarely happens and is an unrealistic expectation at best. No bloody wonder the relationship sours.
I don't know if this is what is happening with your friend, but the odds are heavily for it. Guy needs to grow up. This may require therapy if he is more than 15 years old. Maybe point him to a Men's Shed or similar for a dose of adult relationshipping without tears or a major financial burden.
I am aware that some cultural expectations of what a relationship should be are different from mine, but surely growing up and behaving like an adult are fairly universal. For all participants.
Nah, men go to work and make money, maybe mow the lawn.
Women have to work and make money, and make babies and take care of them, and do all the chores, and budget and pay bills, and remember friends/family birthdays, and buy groceries and make breakfast, lunch and dinner.
ETA: women have to be mens therapist, maid, and slut.
Men love being big fat children, and making women carry the mental load of the household.
Not every man, but enough men.
My experience has been the exact opposite. Despite "working and making the money", basically everything you've listed that is put onto women I've been the one providing.
You might be surprised at the number of women who behave as though I'm to meet all of their needs.
From my experience, it would then be easy to generalise that a lot of women behave this way. But it's not true.
I endeavour not to paint entire segments of society with the same brush.
I will admit I said this because it was my experience, and it is an extreme generalisation.
I read your responses above, and I am sad your friend falls for women who use him that way. I am sorry you have been used that way as well. It is not fair on anyone, regardless of sex or gender, to be used and abused by those who are meant to be partners.
My sincere apologies
Oof. I also mow the lawns on top of everything else. Takes hours (big place)