Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
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Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
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Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
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As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
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Related communities:
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Adulting: !adulting@lemmy.world
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No Stupid Questions: !nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
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Mental Health !mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I don't think you should force friendship until you are ready to. You can co-parent perfectly well with minimal communication until you are ready to communicate more without it hurting a whole lot.
When my last long term relationship ended she wanted to be friends after. I was still really hurting and those random texts and phone calls and invitations to get coffee hurt me and reminded me of what I had lost on a regular basis. I went no contact for about half a year, when the mourning process was over and I had accepted that I was better off without her, it felt okay to be back in contact.
So I disagree with the other posters - protect your heart. Your kids will be okay. Your kids want a parent who is happy. They can't have that if you're forcing friendship contact with your ex that is hurting you and prolonging the grieving/healing process. Go minimal contact, take care of your heart, rediscover how to be happy as a single person, then when you're ready you can talk to your ex more regularly, if you ever want to.
As a child of divorce, what was more important to me was that my parents were happy. Kids can tell when their parents are hurting. And my parents being friendly never felt that important. You can be friendly and nice to each other at pick up and drop off without having to text and have phone calls and get coffee outside of strictly child related interactions. Your kids won't know if you and your ex are texting regularly. They will know if you are sad.