A little background information: Since we're all busy adults, our group plays mostly via chat instead of meeting in-person. And I don't mean voice chat, but taking turns typing out the actions of your characters in an actual text-based chat. Occasionally, we get a newbie wanting to join and usually embrace them with open arms.
Recently a new player joined our group and gameplay has been a hot mess since then, as she legit can't distinguish between "her stories & NPCs" and the ones that belong to other people. I've been playing for more than 20 years and literally never had this problem with anyone, as I always thought it was an unspoken rule amongst roleplayers that characters and storylines belong to the people who introduced them.
One recent example: I was trying to DM a simple story - haunted house, desparate questgiver trying to drive the ghost out, nothing too complicated but I've had prepared the whole story nonetheless and slowly introduced more information to the group. Then they meet the actual questgiver, and suddenly SHE takes control of the story, describes in detail what the questgiver said about the house and what happened there, introduces his wife and kids (her creations, not mine) and then graciously allowed the others to continue after basically hijacking my plot. She did not ask beforehand whether it was ok, nor did she know anything about the plot that I wanted to DM.
We were all flabberghasted and tried to explain to her that she can introduce her own NPCs whenever she wants but should leave the effing PLOT to the DM. She didn't understand what she did wrong and started asking questions about which characters she was "allowed" to play, then seemed confused when the obvious answer was always; only your own.
I have nothing against my players temporarily taking control of unimportant "faceless" standard NPCs like stable boys, waitresses in a tavern etc. to speed up the unimportant parts of the gameplay like ordering food and the like, but those were named, detailed NPCs that were very obviously important to the overarching story and originally introduced by me. And the best part is that she then expected the other players to take control of the wife and kid SHE tossed into the game, because her character started interacting with them and she didn't want to "play by herself".
Similar situations have happened with the NPCs of other players. She takes control of NPCs that are not her own, expects other people to take control of NPCs she introduced herself, and doesn't get why we won't do that. How are other people supposed to know the background stories of HER NPCs?!
I have never had such a player in over two decades yet she claims that this is how she had always played and it had never been an issue for anyone. And I currently have no idea how to deal with it. On one hand, she is a friendly person and her characters fit right into the universe we created, but on the other hand it drives me nuts that I have to get my mind out of the in-game zone every three paragraphs to tell her to stop doing this stuff. If this continues I will have to kick her out of the group, which I'd like to avoid .. but I can't seem to make her understand the concept of "leave the creations of other people to them".
Did anyone have similar experiences with a player? And if so, how did you deal with it?
That is a bit bizarre, never come across that before, did you session 0 with her? It sounds like she's a drama kid or something and just playing make believe without understanding any of the rules of the game.
I bet she's a blast with gmless improv games even if it's a pain in this one.
I agree with the other commenters though, sounds like you've done first warning, see if she improves if not second warning and then boot her. You can't play a traditional RPG with a player taking over story aspects at all times.
The thing is, the first session was completely fine - but during that session, only the player characters were present as one half of the party was camping in a huge forest at night and the others joined them. No NPCs whatsoever, just the player characters learning to know each other in a somehwat quiet environment. And after that, the journey through the forest and to the next town ...
The issues only started once they got back into civilization and NPCs became abundant, but since I never expected someone to have that particular playstyle, I of course did not tell her beforehand that she shouldn't play other peoples' characters for them. I mean ... if I met someone who claimed to have been a driver for years, I wouldn't tell them which side of the road they're allowed to drive on - that's something they're expected to know, and anyone trying to lecture them about this rule would come across as some smartass Captain Obvious. Yet she's apparently from one of the countries that drive on the left lane and it took the group just a bit too long to notice.
It's really quite bizarre especially for someone who claims to have played lots of games before. I wonder what systems they have played in?
It's not like you could have avoided this with a session zero either, it's not something that's usually discussed there. I've only included a basic description like: you all play your characters I'll be the world and everyone else reacting to your decisions. For people who have never role played before.
I'd be interested to hear how your next session went after you spoken with them if your willing to share?
Update: We decided to "fast forward" the current adventure and instead play as a mini group for a while longer, outside of the village and with no NPCs. We still talked about our different playstyles again and agreed on a compromise; whenever a new (side)character / NPC is introduced, you state whether it is one you want total control over, or whether anyone else can play them - and the same for potential story elements. That way she is always sure which characters she's allowed to play and when she should leave a plot / side story to others.
I still find it a bit weird, but it doesn't require much effort from the rest of the group and it obviously helped. The session was nice, everyone had fun, no arguments whatsoever ;) The next plot will be a "light" one with only a few NPCs and clear reminders about which character belongs to whom. I hope it will work out as planned.
Thanks for all the help, folks!
Sounds like a satisfying resolution ☺️ good job.
Next session is planned for Sunday if all goes well. I can keep you updated if you want to - might be useful for someone else one day to read about this experience.