this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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How are cishet people viewed in general in the LGBTQ community? (beehaw.org)
submitted 1 year ago by Lumo@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org
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First of all I'd like to apologize in advance for any insensitive statements I might make (I hope I don't though), I'm trying my best not to and I was just curious :)

I'm an 18-year-old cishet guy currently in uni and recently the thought popped into my head that I have no clue how the LGBTQ community would view me as someone who's not in the space or actively an ally. I would more accurately describe myself currently as a "don't care" person in the sense that to me it genuinely does not matter what someone identifies as or who someone is attracted to. I don't know how much this means, but I have multiple gay friends, my roommate is bi and I dated a person who went as a girl in day to day life because it was more convenient to her/them although she/they told me she/they partially identified as nonbinary (correct pronoun usage pls >.<) but I don't know if all this is the classic "but i have a black friend" argument that racists use.

To cut to the point: I'm curious as to how I would be seen by queer people in general, as I've witnessed both very inclusive and nice people (mostly here), but also some that said that LGBTQ places are not to be used by cishet people and I'm wondering what the best attitude to take would be.

Thanks!

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[–] verbalbotanics@beehaw.org 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't have to put rainbows on anything if you don't want. I don't even use rainbows!

The main thing is, when you hear someone in a cishet group spouting homophobia, be the one to say "hey that's not cool". Lots of people say they're allies and put it on their social media and whatnot, but where it counts is just being able to stick up for us like you would for any mate when the time comes

[–] leigh@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

πŸ’― A cishet person who treats β€œally” as a verb is WAY more helpful than one who only wears it as a noun.

[–] Gaywallet@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago

I'm personally a fan of shifting language - anyone can be an ally, but being an advocate or a champion has a higher bar. At the end of the day, I absolutely respect this person's hesitance to not take on the label of ally, because they feel like they aren't doing enough for it to be valid. That's a very considerate take.