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I think what attitudes like this tend to forget is that with things like queer labels particularly is that these are not tribes in the strictest forms. Not every queer person seeks community. We are talking about demographics that interface with differing and overlapping challenges under kyriarchy. There are specific issues faced by every single letter in the rainbow coalition and seeking solidarity even inside the inclusive movement is a series of conversations made by those groups.
It's not about superiority. It's about specificity and solidarity.
Different groups have entirely different needs and interact with each other in different contexts, sometimes with friction. Labels help with discussion of the overlap of different issues faced by someone. If you are a gay asexual non-binary trans masc you get a very good snapshot of the interlocking layers of where they might feel welcome or uncomfortable... And also a pretty decent set of assumptions you can makein regards of how to behave towards them to make them feel more comfortable and supported in a space without nessisarily having an intimate bare-your-soul one on one talk that would otherwise be nessisary.
Folk going off about queer labels is oftentimes just a reflection of their privilege. You don't have to tell anybody what your "deal" is. It's just assumed. When people don't "get it" it's because they aren't uncomfortable in the status quo. They don't have to ask for accommodations... Or realize how tiring it is to frequently have to explain exactly what you need and how much of a relief it is to summerize it in so few words. How we introduce ourselves is basically us presenting you a short hand guide to what queer etiquette we might need out of future social interactions with you so being around you doesn't become a chore. Sometimes we need to relax in spaces where we feel understood and where our needs are legitimately considered. It's not to gatekeep or serve as some kind of exclusionary secret handshake between members of an in group. Most of the spaces inside the LGBTQIA+ are actually very anti-gatekeeping in regards to individual labels. You identify by whatever social code words make your needs best understood in a social setting. Not the strictest of definitions.