this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon is no angle (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 8 months ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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>be me
>lifting in the garage
>mom walks in with a plate of tendies with chinese sauce
>always told mom to not to come to the garage while I lifted
>always told mom to never look me in my eyes while I lifted (its where my demons hide)
>she made eye contact
>the plate fell from her hands
>the young man she had been raising had turned into a FUCKED UP beast
>she covers her mouth with both her hands as she lets out a yelp
>turns around and runs away
>put the rusty barbell down
>calmly walk up to the mirror and smash it as I see the beast too
Gosh dang it /fit/, we were gonna go shopping this weekend. What do I do now?

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[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 29 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Anon is telling a satirical story about how primal and intimidating they are now that they lift weights.

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

It sounds like a scene from Teen Wolf.

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Is it...actual satire though? Or does homie actually think that way?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I take it you don’t lift. It can be difficult for the untapped to understand our mindset. Me btw

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 8 months ago

I bow to your...unquestionable experience lmao

[–] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Oh, why did I look! Why!!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure you’re already aware but there have been issues with kbin lately. I didn’t realize it was “2 days to federate a reply” bad, but that’s how she be.