this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
94 points (94.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26707 readers
2505 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I have three with one on the way. It's a constant struggle to keep the place livable. Before I had children I was not a neat person and kept things livable by not doing things that made mess and staying out as much as possible. Can't do that with kids, so what's the trick?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] neatchee@lemmy.world 13 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

CONSTANT maintenance, and regularly weekly scheduled cleaning of each room (living room on Monday, kitchen on Tuesday, etc)

It is SO much easier to clean for 20 minutes aggregate each day than it is to clean for an hour every few days. And you're less likely to push it off when it's one simple task at a time instead of a whole house of cleaning.

Start out with one GIANT clean. Like, big-time, deep scrub, pay a cleaning service if you have to

Forever after that, do not let even the smallest mess survive long enough for another mess to be created

Dirty dishes? DIRECTLY into the dishwasher, turn it on as soon as it hits 3/4ths full so you're not playing dishwasher Tetris while extra dishes spill over into the sink

Kids' toys and grossness starting to build up in one room? Time for a family tag-team cleaning event! Put on the song you've decide is "the cleaning song", And everyone pitches in to get it done quick

These are important skills to teach your kids too. It will help them from feeling like you one day. So make sure they are aware and involved in the cleanup effort before they are allowed to do the things that make additional messes

This is not easy! It will be hard and will cause some sacrifices to be made. Like, if there is a mess that hasn't been cleaned up as expected and you're on her way to a movie? Sucks to suck. Clean first, then hope you at least only miss the previews

This ties into other parts of our psychology like delayed gratification, respect for others' things and shared spaces, community responsibility, how your actions impact others...

Get them involved ASAP, NOT EVER as a punishment but as an inevitable responsibility. "This is what we do when we make a mess. Why? Because it is kind to others and kind to our future selves"

Lastly, this is a skill you build up over time. It's not going to magically be completely fixed by This One Simple Trick That Dust Bunnies Hate™. Practice practice practice. And that applies to the kids too. One of them too young to really help clean? Give them a tiny task (can you carry that empty cardboard box from over there to over here? Good job! Thanks for helping) that makes them feel like they are participating so that "cleaning up after ourselves" is just how things are done in their world

You've got a great teaching opportunity for your kids here (and maybe even a hypothetical partner). I wish you the best of luck. This is by far one of the biggest challenges parenthood brings to the table. Know that you're not alone in the struggle.