this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2024
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Personally I am increasingly uncomfortable feeling the "need" to apologize to regressive people about feeling hurt or insulted. They are entirely responsible for their actions.
They are also not sorry that they are pushing the majority of people (women, LGBTQ+, basically anything non-cis-white-men) into a second class or even subhuman status.
I realize that most people are only open to changing themselves when their feelings are not threatened and when they're feeling understood. But what we're talking about here, I don't know the right word, but "accidental" or "unintentional" are not part of it. If regressive leaders like trump or desantis or whoever get elected then we're talking about borderline genocide done on purpose. I don't see how we can come back to acknowledging the feelings of bigots at that point.
This country gets more frustrating when you realize that most of the issues we face right now are (at their root) because most americans have no ability to self reflect on themselves.
If Americans could self reflect on any of those we would be a very different country.
100%. Honestly after growing up borderline right-wing, self-reflection was one of my main tools for personal and political deconstruction. That and good parents. Anyway, very little stood the test of "why am I doing this, and is it what I really want" when I stopped and looked more than 3 feet in front of my own dumb face. That and realizing I'm hopelessly queer lol.
Of course, self-reflection opens the door to a whole lot more than just politics. I get the sense that, if they started self-reflecting without guidance, the first thing they'd be scrambling for answers about would be why they believe in whatever random religion they were born into. There's a whole lot of fervent people that are one solid reflection away from crying over a toilet on a Monday at 3AM because they'd accidentally deconstructed their faith and can't ctrl-z the issue (not a joke, just an observation/personal experience).
Yeah when most religion and deeply held beliefs fall apart real quick when the reason for why they're held is "because my parents believed it". Younger generations who are still republican usually start to realize they aren't when asked "why are you republican" and all they can do is spout stuff their parents say. Which is why the best way to help counter their beliefs isn't to say "it's stupid" or "you're wrong", but to instead keep asking questions. "Why do you think that?" "Why do you think marriage should only be between a man and a woman?" "Why do you believe the bible claims that?" Keep asking whys and maybe they'll start thinking
Yes, the Socratic method
The "I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt" non-apology is always an option. It sounds like an apology, but it basically means "I'm sorry you suck" rather than apologising for doing something wrong. In most contexts, it's an asshole thing to do because it's a refusal to acknowledge that someone has a good reason to be hurt. When dealing with bigots, "I'm sorry you suck" is perhaps the most appropriate response.
Yeah, fuck ‘em. Don’t apologize.
In addition to what you’ve mentioned, don’t forget it’s the same groups of people who want to give guns more rights than women/people of color/LGBTQ+. After reading things like this… you realize you shouldn’t be apologizing because these people don’t give a shit.