this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2024
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You're right, it is a weird card and it probably would be good to leave. But it sounds like you're going through a rough trot and are fairly isolated. If this is a decision you're not ready to make and it's causing you extreme anxiety, you do have the option to not go ahead until you feel stronger.
In the meantime though, while you have this decision on the shelf or you choose to stay, you could also do some nice things for yourself and perhaps hang out with other people. I know it's not easy. Groups can be a bit exclusive especially in Melbourne, people could be toxic, money may be tight, hidden depression may make it hard to get joy from anything. Seeing someone trained might be a good move if that last one is the case.
But it would be good if there were a few small joys in your life you could regularly count on. Or at least a few moments where you could forget about your worries.