this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

I'm an American that visited Russia for ~3 weeks in the mid 90s as a budding teenager. I visited Moscow and Dubna, but mostly Dubna. My experience was that Russians don't really engage with strangers on the street. They may also be a bit scornful. For example, I have this story.

I saw snow for the first time in my life on this trip. As such, I was having a blast with it. One time, I made a snowball and threw it at an insignificant street sign on an insignificant street. Some lady walking by yells at me something to the effect of, "Why are you doing that, you little brat‽" My Russian uncle, who was present and translated the lady's comment, behaved as if that was the most normal event ever. If that happened in the US, people would think the lady is a jerk and someone might even tell her off.

Another thing that stuck out to me is that I went ice skating outside at a park. Not one other kid even made an attempt to be my friend. I skated alone the whole time. That would be nearly unheard of in the US too.

However, to not speak only poorly of Russians, as I'm aware that I'm sharing my perspective and they probably have cultural critiques of my behaviors as well (eg the lady that scolded me), I would like to note a positive thing I noticed. If you're friends with a Russian, that person is your legitimate friend. They are loyal and authentic af with each other. Behind closed doors, Russians that have familial or friendly relationships are completely different than what they are like outside. To really get to know Russians and their culture, you have to become a close friend with them. Only then, will you see who each one truly is. I saw that many times. Outside, they where a mask. Inside their homes, they are quite warm, caring, engaged, and emotional. To get an idea, read the letters between Rodya, his sister, and his mom in Crime and Punishment. That's a good example of what they are like with each other.