this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2024
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Some people do a very thorough job.
"Jim killed himself."
"My, god. How?"
"He constructed his own gallows, complete with support to ensure his weight wouldn't bow or split the noose beam, and dangled above the well crafted platform."
"Wow. That's Jim to a T."
"Yes. Tragically a T would have prevented all of this."
In the Bible, there are two accounts of the death of Judas. In one, he hangs himself. In another, he goes out into his field and his guts spill out and he dies.
And I had a Christian tell me that first he hanged himself and then his guts spilled out and then he died.
So apparently, he went out into a field, built a gallows, tested the gallows, hung himself from the gallows, didn't die, so God had to complete the job by making his guts spill out and not, I don't know, break his neck?
Fun note too that theologians have decided it wasn't betraying Jesus that got him damned to hell for eternity that would have been fine and they could have all enjoyed heaven together but he got depressed and killed himself which damned him to hell
Jesus just watching with a shrug as his friend who helped him carry out his whole destiny of saving us from original sin burns on agony
Also one of Jesus closest friends who'd been there with loads of the proving Jesus is Christ moments still didn't really believe in him enough to actually think he was the literal son of God who reigns over heaven or surely he'd understand the his earthly death isn't really a big deal to him - like when I log off a video game and I'm back in my bedroom.
...did they spill out of his butt?
Ask a Christian.
I don't wanna!
Can't say I blame you.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
I've heard that Judas went and hanged himself over the edge of a cliff, and then the rope snapped (because Judas apparently couldn't handle hanging himself properly), and he fell into the field, where his guts spilled out.
That said, the person I heard that from is one of the Christian pastors I'm related to, whose only real claim to knowledge on the subject was a one-week "Bible tour" of Israel.
Did they explain why the edge of a cliff and not, say, a roof rafter?
"So everyone could see what happened," is the best reason I could get.