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Men who have been married for many years, what do you think are the biggest mistakes men make in relationships that should be avoided? (lemmy.today)

submitted 9 months ago by Adn@lemmy.today to c/askmenover30@lemm.ee

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[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Don't stop dating once you move in. They shouldn't stop either. Plan nights out, random gifts, and movie nights together. You're not roommates, you're partners.

This one might be controversial, but if you have ex's "you're still friends with" no you're not. Early in the relationship people will say, "Oh, that's cool. I don't mind." Because you're in the honeymoon phase, but it's just all around awkward for everyone.

[–] scrion@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Sorry, that's just bullshit. I have been married for many years and am on friendly terms with 90% of my ex girlfriends. My wife was sceptical at first (which I get), but now she is friends with several of my ex girlfriends. Others, not so much, but not because they are my exes, but simply because they're not compatible.

[–] JimmyBigSausage@lemm.ee 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Are you friends with her ex-boyfriends?

[–] scrion@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Never met any, we're in a different country now. It did happen in previous relationships with my other partners though, yes.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world -3 points 9 months ago

"My wife was skeptical at first" hence, awkward for everyone. Most relationships end because one side ended it, which creates asymmetric feelings. Are there exceptions? Sure.

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Don’t stop dating once you move in. They shouldn’t stop either

I was expecting this to go a rather different way.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

~i~ ~don't~ ~understand~

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It can be read as “Don’t stop dating (other people)”

[–] HerbalGamer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

which is what I meant?

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 months ago

That was unclear

[–] taladar@sh.itjust.works 9 points 9 months ago

If you have to pretend not to like your friends any more for a partner don't marry them.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I think the exception to the friend who you dated would be my friend who we only went on one date and didn’t feel a spark but still liked each other. She became one of my best friends. She’s now married and my partner and I double date with them.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I was more thinking about an intimate partner. A one off date is very different.