Same with porn. But I'm building a shake-power generator for fleshlites so it should balance out the power it pulls. Saving the earth one jack-off at a time.

Charging a hybrid car battery only takes 253.4 jerks. Pretty soon we will be expanding our charging service to parking lots across America and Canada! Most of them already have people willing to do it for you already ...they were doing it there anyway... Win/win.

Powerjerk (tm), we make perverts work for you!

Just roll up and say "Hey Jagoff, I need to get to x!" And you'll promptly be taken care of.*

*Do not give them drugs to speed up the process. We are serious about our drug-free workplace.

Edit: steal my idea and I'll find you

[–] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

Energy isn't free. More power captured from jerking will increase food consumed, meaning more energy used in farming. You'll have to brand this as either a carbon ~~capture~~ fapture system or as a weight loss program

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

1 kilowatt hour is about 870kCal.

Humans are incredibly inefficient power generators. I can buy 1kWh of electricity from the grid for about 18 cents (generation…transmission is extra).

I don’t think I can buy 870kCal of food for 18 cents. Certainly not a healthy source. And that’s even assuming 100% efficiency. Any high school physics student will tell you that won’t happen.

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

Drinking one gallon of gasoline has enough calories to keep you alive for the rest of your life.

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Join our team of Jerks. We have a stiff sign on bonus.

By chance are you good at "shooting ropes"? Our clients love ropes.

[–] MycelialMass@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The new Weight Loss Jerkoff System could solve part of that

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

P90Sex

Edit: whoops, I linked to our competitor.

And ps... The PC term is jagoff.

[–] jamyang@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

The studs at the local Blue Oyster don't call me Spider Man for no reason.

[–] littlecolt@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Porn is more beneficial for humanity than imaginary ownership.

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Capitalism is based on imaginary ownership.

[–] littlecolt@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

Nailed it.

[–] GratefullyGodless@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Bur, what if they prematurely finish and my car isn't charged yet?

[–] ULS@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Fired!

[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

I have one word for you:

Service Level Agreement.

[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I have an ancient hermetic method of getting off that requires neither computer or phone. Enquire within if you seek this ancient knowledge.

[–] hackris@lemmy.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Please elaborate

[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

For only $99 USD all will be explained via a one on one Webinar.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

What a deal! I can't lose!