this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
615 points (99.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12272 readers
1810 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] finthechat@kbin.social 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yeah and modernize the rules: they get ARs instead of those old dueling pistols

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm DOWN! Some rules:

  • Any AR-15 platform acceptable. Plain Jane Colt, Gucci'd out custom rig, top-line Daniel Defense, don't care. 16", 20", 24" barrel, whatever. Standard AR, standard controls, etc.
  • No mag capacity limit. (Some idiot would roll with a 50-round mag, get jammed and smeared.)
  • 100 paces. Make 'em walk it out for max drama.
  • Iron sights only. Red-dots are almost IRL aim-bots. Make 'em work for it.
  • No cover, no armor. Make 'em fight. Looking for a test of manhood here.

So how are we handling seconds? Just let them choose anyone for the role? Sounds fair.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 7 points 9 months ago

On the contrary. The duel should be fought only with a rapier. I don't want Fatty McCorruption Face (R) win because the MIC gave him the latest shiny, for helping sell guns to the cartels or whatever.

They want to duel? They think they have it in them to rectify their "honor" this way? Make them work for it.