this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2024
43 points (86.4% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35831 readers
1132 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

today was supposed to be my first day of therapy and the therapist didn't show up. I'm pissed off. I wasted 2 hours for nothing.

I've sent her a polite message, asking if she's sick and hoping she is well, but in reality I wanted to yell at her. However, if I yell at her, chances are she won't treat me.

Before you suggest to find another therapist, finding a shrink where I live is very difficult and the other ones I contacted have either ignored me or are overbooked. I need therapy and it bothers me to be so dependent on one person.

For those of you who have experienced something similar, how doesn't it bother you?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] infinitevalence@discuss.online 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It does bother me, but its also something I cannot control. I try to remind myself in situations like that, that I am only responsible for my own experience.

I cant control other people, but I can decide how I want to intemperate what has happened. I could choose to be mad, or hurt, or inconvenienced. Or, I can choose to pause, focus on my breathing, be mindful of myself and where I am putting my emotional energy.

Being angry, and hurt is easy start but actually requires lots of energy to maintain. I dont really want to spend all my time and energy on things that are now in the past and I cannot change, so I try to change what IS in my control, and if I can I try to support the people I depend on so they can be there when I need them.

it all sounds very woowoo and when your mad probably impossible, but like everything it requires practice. Start by stepping back, closing your eyes, breathing in and out slowly, then after like 15-30 seconds when you can engage your rational brain talk yourself through it. What could I have done differently, if it was not in my control then why am I choosing to intemperate it as malice or inconvenience? Can I or should I do anything different next time?

Do something like this any time your feeling this way and it will become a tool that you can start to depend on, and something you do control!

I would only add to do this also when you are not feeling this way. In my experience it’s very hard to make this happen if I only try to roll it out when I’m already feeling mad. Doing some daily meditation for 10-15 minutes is the only way I’ve had any success being able to engage that when I really need it. Also it’s nice to be able to step back and recognize good emotions / reactions.