this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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My cold, dead heart.
I can disassociate emotionally better than anyone I know, and that has saved me a lot of heartache. It also helps me make better decisions as I can evaluate complex personal issues with a little more objectivity than some.
The downside is I don't experience happiness and joy the same way others do. Extreme emotional states, either happy or sad, turn into manic episodes, so I spend about 99% of my life in state of general contentment. Having experienced more normal emotions earlier in my life, I still think this is preferable to the way most people's brains work. I know very few people who are content with their lives.
I'm the same way. I used to just blame it on weird ADHD brain, but it ended up being undiagnosed bipolar II disorder.