this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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More Realistic Meat Substitute Made From Soy Raised In Brutally Cruel Conditions (www.theonion.com)
submitted 10 months ago by usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[–] seathru@lemm.ee 38 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Rhubarb is grown in near complete darkness, and it screams as it grows towards a light it’ll never reach

Rhubarb cellars are metal. I forgot all about that.

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

There's some really great metal band names in here (IMHO).

  • Metalcore: Scream At A Light You'll Never Reach

  • Stoner: Rhubong and the Devil's Lettuce

  • Doom: Near Complete Darkness

  • Black: Rhübarb Screams

  • Death: Cellar Crop

  • Goregrind: Fed Shit and Kept in the Dark

  • Country/Folk Metal (aka Hank III): Rhubarb Wire Fences