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what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you? (linux.community)

submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I'm letting people who hurt me in the past live rent free in my mind.

One episode involves a former landlord that tried to run me over in an intersection with no traffic cameras.

Another one involves a manager that fired me for informing that one of his favorites yelled during night shift and ignored alarms to talk. He fired me the next day, used the exit interview to tell me everything I didn't do right (but kept quiet about his favorites, even though I did the job like them), still had the utmost confidence on his favorites, accused me of being lazy and instead of simply firing me and keeping neutral he chose to take it personal, proceeded to try to scare me insinuating I wouldn't work for his system again, when that failed, tried to humiliate me and then fired me. This was in an non union hospital.

When I think about it I get angry. Id like not to be so thin skinned, but here I am.

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[–] aelwero@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago

A couple quotes...

Be who you are and say what you mean, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Both are difficult in terms of original source, but the best quotes usually are ;)

Point is, there's three classes of problems. Most are type one - not my fucking problem.

Type two is what you're talking about here, your problem, but you didn't cause it. I've found that like 90% of these require serenity, because you can't fix stupid... You kinda just gotta consider that until the light bulb comes on I guess? I've never had any issue with this one personally, it just always seemed self evident.

I've always struggled with type three, the things that are my problem and I caused them. That's the shit I dwell on, because you can't take it back, and sometimes, you can't fix those either. You gotta swallow the pill on the fact that you did a stupid...

You weren't the guy doing the stupid, ya know?