this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
110 points (93.7% liked)

Men's Liberation

1853 readers
107 users here now

This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


Rules

Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people


Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.



Be productive


Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.

Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:

  • Build upon the OP
  • Discuss concepts rather than semantics
  • No low effort comments
  • No personal attacks


Assume good faith


Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.



No bigotry


Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.



No brigading


Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.



Recommended Reading

Related Communities

!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

what books and what is their usual advice?

[–] dumples@kbin.social 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

For general sex and relationships I recommend Hot and Unbothered. Its from a sex therapist and it talks about how to find and ask about the sex that you actually want. Its got great advice for anyone about how to think about your relationship and even has some exercises and worksheet (like a Yes, No & Maybe checklist).

For Kink the top two books are The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book which gives overview for topping and bottoming. They both start with some examples of what goals or feeling you might want to achieve. Some of their examples are Empathy, Creativity, Bigness, Nurturing, Control, innocence, Lust, Power etc. It then gives some practical advice about how to start with experimenting and how to ask about getting what you want. Its a great way to see what is out there even if you aren't interested in kink.

The real reason you should check them out is for communication skills for on-going enthusiastic consent. If you see how someone asks to be hog tied with a ball gag in their mouth and whipped silly its easy to ask for anything else. Same with safety both emotional and physical. The most interesting part is how right after giving detailed instructions on how to whip someone is how choking is never safe. Its interesting to see what can be safe and what cannot be.

[–] fracture@beehaw.org 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

holy shit these are great recs, tysm

[–] dumples@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

I'm happy to help. If you need more books all of the books above will have their own reference / recommendations. Good luck!!!