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What 'ruined' Christmas this year was having to go home and spend it with my parents, one of whom is bedridden and non responsive from Alzheimers. It's more akin to a wake where everyone is focused on someone who is dead and there's little joy to be had. I've been doing it now for 5 years and there's no sign that it will end soon.
It is incredibly stressful and morose. Christmas isn't really joyful anymore because Mom could die at any time. The worst part of it is that all of us recognize that she's suffering and so are we, but the government won't allow any other outcome.
Still, the family shows up and puts in the work for caring for her for many reasons, the least of which is that she raised us for almost 20 years. She was a wonderful person and she's owed that, bottom line. It is uplifting in a way because we come together and work together for a purpose and while it's hard and sad, we've bonded over it nonetheless.
But.. what kind of Christmas will we have once she's gone?
Hopefully, one with quiet relief.
Mom wouldn't want you miserable every year because of her.
That sucks so much; my grandfather basically lived for two years too long. Can't imagine 5 years of that tbh.
I feel "lucky" because it only took my dad two years to die from serious symptoms starting to the end, but that's two years too long. He was a university professor and he ended up doing 50-piece jigsaw puzzles. We should allow people to end their life with dignity.