My ex constantly reminded me for the past decade someone fat, nerdy, and unattractive like me would never get someone like her. No matter what I didn't, I really couldn't have her and she ended cheating on me anyway.

It's different with my job. I barely know what the fuck I'm doing. I can't estimate the time it would take to do any task. I don't understand almost any stories, and it takes me forever to implement shit. I get constantly showered in praise, but I can't pass simple codility tests for a promotion.

School was the same: "oh he's a smart kid" without elaborating why.

Yeah the only person saying that negative stuff to me is me. I'm the only one with the truth.

[–] SaltyIceteaMaker@iusearchlinux.fyi 7 points 11 months ago

Ah yes the "gifted kid". This label pretty much raised you to think anything is easy for you and now that the world is catching up everything is suddenly hard and overwhelming. Been there.

You say you barely know what you are doing but it's working no? And it keeps working? So it seems you know at least the basic stuff you need to know. And from my experience that's just as much as everyone else knows about what they are doing.

Idk if it helps but you gotta remember that except for a few selected people, no one really knows what the fuck they are doing. And that's okay. You don't have to be the second Albert Einstein ~~(one might call it albert zweistein)~~ in fact you have to be nothing. Lower your expectations and once you reached those expectations set slightly higher ones and continue doing so until you have fulfilled you dream. Until then just waking up and going to work is enough, although it can be hard sometimes.

I found solice in the realisation that i don't give a fuck if i do something wrong or worse than someone else, because i can just slowly become better until im just as good if not better. Remember good times follow bad times. And don't give a fuck about what people say as long as you stay happy with yourself