this post was submitted on 13 Dec 2023
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Probably TMI but I wasn't close with my mom, like the poster above she kicked me out when I finished high school at 17, I do understand, my dad had died and she had a lot to deal with, more younger kids at home.
I did not feel regret for not being closer when she died. It's fine, we had what we could and she was close to my youngest sister, and I've been quite lucky in Mother-in-laws, mom of my ex and mom of my husband I am closer with. My mom I just would text on her birthday and mother's day.
Don't give what you can't. Focus on your life and stay polite with her, and distant is fine. It's not wrong to take care of your own life and it won't keep you from being close with other people.
The thing is I'm not just distant, I'm full on no contact with her. And sometimes I think that maybe my reaction is a bit too harsh. But I think you're right, I need to get myself in good position/mental state before I should try to reestablish contact. I can't handle her problems if I don't have my own in check.
Thanks for sharing.