Asexual

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Lazy, hard to please or asexual? (feddit.de)

submitted 11 months ago by Dislodge3233@feddit.de to c/asexual@lemmy.world

NSFW 13 comments fedilink hide all child comments

So I'm not sure how to define my sexuality. I only care because I have a hard time explaining it to others (men mostly women don't care).

Basically about 2 years ago I came out as bisexual (50/50 attraction). I had a lot of sexual trauma and resolved it in therapy. I had a whore phase to explore myself, but I honestly don't enjoy sex that much. I maybe cum 1-2/10 times, so mostly it's been about pleasing my partners.

A couple months ago, I basically stopped dating because I kinda don't care to. I find I get much more out of dance and hobbies. I still get horny, but after masturbating, I am back to not caring.

Sex just sounds remarkably unrewarding and too much effort. I like connecting with people, but dancing with someone is way less complicated than arranging sex for the same reward. Friends annoy me sometimes because they assume I'm just not having success.

Is this asexuality? I still sometimes like sex, just very rarely.

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[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Not sure if Id call you asexual since you still have potential for a sexual relationship in the right circumstances. I would say demisexual maybe

[–] ElectroNeutrino@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Demisexual still falls under the asexual spectrum, just as an fyi.

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Thanks did not know

[–] alvvayson@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I am no expert in all the nuances, but I second your opinion that the description seems to match demisexual.

[–] Dislodge3233@feddit.de 1 points 11 months ago

Demisexual would fit perfectly if "deep emotional connection" were replaced with "the right energy". I don't need a deep connection in the traditional sense, but I need a very particular energy which is rare.

The last person (woman) I had this with could barely understand me when I spoke (different English accents). We danced and I felt a strong connection. Ultimately it's emotions, but it was like we move and breathe the same. Like our bodies flow together and connect. We only danced and kissed, but I'd rather dance with her than fuck some beautiful person who I didn't have that with.

So maybe a deep emotional connection, so long as "emotional" includes a wide variety of emotions.