this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Transfem

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It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.

Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓

But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.

This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.

What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.

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[–] BassaForte@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I won't be seeing my family / parents this year. They moved halfway across the country early this year and I started HRT in June. They are conservatives and not accepting, but I'm also not sure how they would react when they find out - I still have a good relationship with them.

I don't really have any plans to tell them and I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle it... Could maybe use some advice. Otherwise HRT has been going well and I'm about to hit 6 months.

Well, I don’t have any advice per se, but feel free to read through some of my post history for how my mom has handled it through stages (it didn’t go over well at first). I mean, it’s still not great (she called me Mrs. Doubtfire when I was talking about cleaning the house) but it’s better than I expected.

I haven’t told my dad just yet, he’s hinted at just wanting me to be happy in my journey, but who really knows.