this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2023
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My record is 9 days without sleep.
At that point I had seen a doc who just loaded me down with large doses of like 3 different benzos.
Slept for 2 days straight.
The creepist hallucinations were dark figures in the corner of dark rooms chanting in some language that didnt sound human in origin, just reproduced by humans.
The oddest was a stop sign that turned into buddy Christ from Dogma (I think) and then back into a stop sign.
I wasn't religious at all at that point in time, though I went through elementary in a private christian school before transferring to public schools, and the area is certainly part of the bible belt.
Of course this leads me to ponder how much of our beliefs and such is shaped by the cultural norms of the area we're in, even if your own family doesn't participate.
Then again, what is "normal" is viewed through the lense of the community being studied.
So realizing this, I have to wonder how much of my beliefs and morals stems from the area that I was raised in versus what I have actually experienced and value.
Just how much of "me" has been brainwashed into me, subtly over time and reinforced by various methods of society. Then that moves the thought to how much of me is just directly rebelling against that force, but wouldn't be present without that external force. Which all boils down to essential philosophical questions that man has been asking for centuries with no real answer.
Maybe this is why I have trouble sleeping.
That's... not great. Impressive, but not great. I hope you're in a better place now.
Doctor: Um, yeah. I don't normally do this, but I'm going to give you serious drugs up front and then figure out what's going on later. Take this after you get home. Also, clear your calendar for the next few days.
What you're pondering is the classic "nature vs nurture" argument, and moral relativism overall. I can't say how active this philosophical area is these days, but you're correct in that it's a part of "essential philosophical questions that man has been asking for centuries with no real answer." I say, drink deep from this well and master the domain. Maybe then sleep will come easier.