Not The Onion

12358 readers

341 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

334

Ohio Lawyer Suspended After Chucking Poop-Filled Pringles Can From His Car (au.sports.yahoo.com)

submitted 11 months ago by flumph@programming.dev to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

58 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 45 points 11 months ago (2 children)

BUT WHOSE POOP WAS IT?

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 48 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It was his.

The Ohio Supreme Court suspended an attorney who defecated into a Pringles potato chip can and then tossed it into a parking lot of a crime-victim advocacy center.

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/politics/2023/11/29/ohio-supreme-court-suspends-attorney-over-dropping-poop-filled-can/71739810007/

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

Not that he isn't a dickhole, but...that'll...show them...? How did anyone else even notice this enough to care? Someone so poorly underpaying the cleaner guy that he opened a discarded parking lot pringles can in search of food?

[–] flumph@programming.dev 24 points 11 months ago

He drove past the ... victim advocacy center ... and was captured on surveillance cameras throwing the can into the center's parking lot. One of the center's employees ... saw Blakeslee throw the can from his car and recovered it in the parking lot... [and] called police to report the incident and the attorney was eventually charged with misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct and littering.

[–] empireOfLove@lemmy.one 9 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If you pick up what is supposed to be an empty can and it weighs like a pound and a half.... you're gonna be curious and look inside at least once.

[–] Exusia@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Not anymore.

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I am so absolutely not doing that, no. Maybe it's a whole pound of free cocaine. Maybe god finally smiled on me and it's a very ill-planned potato chip bomb like that experiment where you use a whole potato to power a light bulb. Probably it's some kid's lost gravel collection.

Whatever it is, it's not going to be something whoever had the can last was dying for anyone to have and I don't get paid enough to care.

[–] Tyfud@lemmy.one 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

My guess is that it exploded and caused a mess. There's no way that held together. Pringles cans are literally made out of paper thin cardboard with a little bit of glue holding it all together.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 2 points 11 months ago

Well, poop analysis showed there were wolf hair and pieces of credit card in it. So, still inconclusive.