this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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Weird title, I know. But I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with my first child. It's an equal mix of anxiety, excitement, and anger at just how consumeristic having a goddamn baby is. So I'm curious how my fellow Solarpunks would handle the introduction of a new small mammal into their world.

My main concern revolves around Amazon and general gifting.

I live in the UK, but I'm from the US originally, and my family and most of my friends are back in the US. Their go-to for sending me anything is Amazon, because you can easily shop in the US and ship to my home in the UK. I've had mixed feelings about this for a long time, but now that my entire family is gonna want to Buy Something for Baby I'm especially cautious. I don't want to tell them not to buy anything (Well I do, but more on that later). But I absolutely do not want to receive anything from Amazon. Environmental, economical, political, and ethical concerns aside, I don't really trust items from Amazon to hold up like I'd want them to. Might not technically be an issue with baby clothes, since they'll be worn for a day at most, but anything else I come into possession of needs to be sturdy enough to be safe, and to be able to be reused/passed down/given to other parents in the community when no longer needed.

I found a website called LittleList that's a UK-based baby registry, which seems to allow people from anywhere to order anything to my door, and they even seem to have an emphasis on more eco friendly brands. My plan as a result is to tell people they can only order off of the LittleList registry, or they can just get a card for my family and/or baby. That said, I'll take advice for either how to get people to actually listen to this request, or for other, better requests to make.

My other concern with getting gifts (and even buying stuff myself) is I don't know what I'll actually need and use, and I'd hate to buy or receive useless stuff just to clutter my house. Also, I'm in Scotland, so the government will send us a box full of baby necessities when baby is born. I hope I can use this little fact to convince people that really, I don't need anything.

TL:DR; anyone have advice for how to keep people from inundating me and baby with cheap Amazon stuff?

I'm also wondering if there'd be interest in a solarpunk parenting community here, because god knows if I posted this on a generic parenting forum I'd get all kinds of people not getting it, and I know this won't be the last weird question I have.

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[โ€“] schmorpel 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Congrats on becoming a parent! I remember the Amazon thing. I'm German living abroad and sending stuff over Amazon was the standard for my family when my little one was little. I only stopped using them after it became clear how awful they are.

As for people sending stuff, I'd say the way to handle it depends. Not sure if there's some people barely internet literate who wouldn't really know how to navigate another site? And they just want to express their awe of a new earthling in the family? I would just let them proceed, say thank you, and if whatever arrives is all too horrible someone else might appreciate it as a gift. I've recently realized how internet literacy really is a thing with older folks and they find it very hard to learn to do new stuff online.

Those in your family who are more likely to understand, capable of using different sites, and those who you will have contact with often, probably more worth educating your preferences.

Yes for having a parent group. I'm now a confused parent of a grown up (?? no not really, just legally) child (so fast, he was a baby yesterday I swear).

[โ€“] okasen 1 points 1 year ago

That's a good point on internet literacy. I do have some older relatives who might not be able to figure out the weirder list sites. Or, geez, international money transfer...

I will consider starting a parent group! I'm 100% awful at reliably checking in (As evidenced by my responding to everything here a week later) but I don't mind modding really.