this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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Weird title, I know. But I've recently found out that I'm pregnant with my first child. It's an equal mix of anxiety, excitement, and anger at just how consumeristic having a goddamn baby is. So I'm curious how my fellow Solarpunks would handle the introduction of a new small mammal into their world.

My main concern revolves around Amazon and general gifting.

I live in the UK, but I'm from the US originally, and my family and most of my friends are back in the US. Their go-to for sending me anything is Amazon, because you can easily shop in the US and ship to my home in the UK. I've had mixed feelings about this for a long time, but now that my entire family is gonna want to Buy Something for Baby I'm especially cautious. I don't want to tell them not to buy anything (Well I do, but more on that later). But I absolutely do not want to receive anything from Amazon. Environmental, economical, political, and ethical concerns aside, I don't really trust items from Amazon to hold up like I'd want them to. Might not technically be an issue with baby clothes, since they'll be worn for a day at most, but anything else I come into possession of needs to be sturdy enough to be safe, and to be able to be reused/passed down/given to other parents in the community when no longer needed.

I found a website called LittleList that's a UK-based baby registry, which seems to allow people from anywhere to order anything to my door, and they even seem to have an emphasis on more eco friendly brands. My plan as a result is to tell people they can only order off of the LittleList registry, or they can just get a card for my family and/or baby. That said, I'll take advice for either how to get people to actually listen to this request, or for other, better requests to make.

My other concern with getting gifts (and even buying stuff myself) is I don't know what I'll actually need and use, and I'd hate to buy or receive useless stuff just to clutter my house. Also, I'm in Scotland, so the government will send us a box full of baby necessities when baby is born. I hope I can use this little fact to convince people that really, I don't need anything.

TL:DR; anyone have advice for how to keep people from inundating me and baby with cheap Amazon stuff?

I'm also wondering if there'd be interest in a solarpunk parenting community here, because god knows if I posted this on a generic parenting forum I'd get all kinds of people not getting it, and I know this won't be the last weird question I have.

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[–] jeffhykin@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Convincing people to not give is actually really hard, I've tried doing this for Christmas for the last 3 years.

I quickly learned that entirely robbing someone of the joy of giving/helping in any way is actually pretty horrible. Giving really makes people feel like their life is well-lived.

BUT, you can change what they give and be really effective.

  • Ask for advice. People love giving advice
  • Ask for a list of newborn items they would recommend
  • Then create some excuse (shipping, saving for big items, avoiding duplicate items, whatever) to recommend, if they must, send money instead of presents.

Be warned, you're probably still going to get a lot of amazon stuff. It's the lowest effort way to give, and that's really hard to beat.

[–] anzo@programming.dev 1 points 11 months ago

Check on nearby shop's online websites. Make a list, to share with your relatives. Highlight which have gift cards. You can even list things you would like to have because they might come in handy. Pretty much like some couples do for marriage. Plan a baby shower online too, maybe.

[–] okasen 1 points 1 year ago

I like the "ask for advice" idea. I can ALWAYS use more advice (and it's way easier to dispose of when it's junk....)

I do hear you on not wanting to rob people of giving, it's a nice feeling and I don't want to suck the joy out of this experience for other people just for my personal Amazonian battles. I'm wondering if giving a nice card gives people the same level of joy (it does for me on both giving and receiving, anyways).

And yeah, that's fair about it being hard to beat Amazon 100%. I figure it's an uphill battle but I can at least sisyphus my way up a way meters.