this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2023
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[–] Candelestine@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Authorities will always immediately quell any currently-happening hostilities when they arrive on the scene, that's a clearly necessary first step in order to figure out what the hell is happening. A common bullying tactic is to bait the person into fighting back, knowing that the anger will push them so far they get in trouble.

You see, the bully has enormous amounts of experience and practice at toe-ing this precise line. The quiet kid does not, they're quiet, they don't run into it very often. The bully knows this.

So, if you absolutely must hit back because nobody and nothing else is helping, do it quickly, decisively and cleanly, and then stop. Re-arrest your own feelings, and go back to calm. You probably will still get in trouble, but the other kid is more likely to get in trouble with you. And you're less likely to do medically significant damage anyway, if you just hit once instead of wailing on the bully for a solid minute, so, that's better for everyone. If you actually really hurt the kid by accident, that's a whole different ball game, you don't really want that. You just want them to stop doing this in the future, that is all. Deterrence for the future is different from revenge. Revenge is impractical because of how extreme it is, it can create feuds, make things worse. He can avenge your revenge, if you are too harsh. But simple deterrence is a different story, when you're not too harsh, and instead using just enough force to get the safety that you want.

[–] Hnazant@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I smoked my bully in front of everyone. He stewed for a few years, then told all the black kids I called them the n word behind their backs. That was the end of any sports for me. They hated me. Some 10 years later I left a party to got get a keg. When I got back luckily someone warned me before I got out of my car that he had arrived and stirred up the same shit. Yep, should've stopped at the one punch. Good lpt.

[–] PopShark@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

As I grow older I often forget how much kids and teens suck in how they treat each other sometimes

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

All reasonable and logical things. But someone bullied accumulates permanent damage for rest of their lives. A bully should expect full repercussions to the max. I sure wished a bunch of them would get run over by cars of broken some legs. They deserve it.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 1 year ago

do it quickly, decisively and cleanly, and then stop.

I once punched a dude that was fucking with me in the mouth right in the middle of science class while the teacher had her back to us. He just sat there with a stunned look on his face and stopped. Later after school I ran into him coming from the other direction while I was leaving and he was yelling threatening shit while we were approaching each other. I just kept quiet and kept walking towards him and when I got within speaking distance he said something like "you like punching people in the mouth?" and I was just like "yeah" and kept walking past him. I really thought he was going to attack me but he didn't do anything and didn't fuck with me after that.