this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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Even with a good career and all the "adult milestones" I don't feel like an actual adult. I feel like I'm pretending to know what I'm doing. Anyone else experience this?

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[–] justlookingfordragon@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

As far as I can tell:

  • age <16: "Oh boy, I can't wait to be an adult and do whatever I want!"

  • age 16-19: "Look at me! I'm an adult! I'm the adultiest adult that ever adulted!! I reject all that is childish and embrace all that is totally-grown-up! Middle ground is for losers! I need everyone to know how ADULT I am and approve of it!!"

  • around 20-ish: "....fuck. I'm an adult. I have responsibilities. I have to do taxes. Why does everything cost money?"

  • 25+: "I have legit no idea what being an adult is supposed to be like, but I'll figure it out one day ... I hope. Also my back hurts and I have a favorite spoon and lost the lid of 2/3 of my tupperware."

  • 45+: "I'm an adult. I can do whatever TF I want. Ohh you want to convince me that videogames and cartoons are "too childish" for someone my age? Go ahead and sue me, lol."

 

I'm nearing that last stage and I honestly care less and less about what being an adult is supposed to be like. The world is already a shitty enough place without ruining your own fun on arbitrary grounds like stuff being "too childish for your age" or the pressure to have found your purpose in life by a random age. I stopped trying to find "my calling" or a bigger meaning in life and just enjoy the ride instead. Not everyone is predestined to achieve some groundbreaking milestone in history. Maybe my purpose in life has always been to be that weird funny uncle that cracks insufferable puns at the worst times but actually listens to problems of loved ones, no matter how trivial they may seem. Maybe just winging it without actually knowing what the end result will be ... is perfectly fine. It is okay to not know everything. It is okay to have silly little hobbies. It is okay to be a bit awkward. And it is okay to feel a bit lost sometimes. Adults are just old children with a driving permit.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

[–] InfiniteFlow@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.

So much this!

I see myself a bit in all those stages, but i don’t think i ever really ever (temporarily) outgrew “childish” things. Always liked cartoons, always read comics, always played games, and always told those that chided me for not growing up to fuck off. Now entering my 50s, the biggest difference is that people don’t have the courage to bother me about it anymore (and in the rare occasions when they do they don’t argue back after being told off :P )