this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
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My least favorite thing about pizza rolls is carrying them up to the checkout counter. I do what I think is a good job cooking for myself, including making pizza from scratch on a regular basis, but sometimes I do want to sit down and play a zone out video game and munch on some objectively awful pre-packaged oven junk food. I think without that down time I'd have burned down my own face by now. Somehow still feel like I'm supposed to be embarrassed about carrying them up to the cashier and being like "I would like to purchase and own this, please."
To avoid the embarrassment, buy in bulk and people will assume you're buying them for children.
Bag of 30 pizza rolls: this guy is a lazy slob...
Boxes of 300 pizza rolls, 100 fruit snacks, & 50 pop-tarts: this guy is so nice to his kids...
The line I have prepared is "Game night. Me and the boys playing DnD, pop some of these in the oven, less cook, more play."
Except I don't play DnD and I don't have friends.
That works great until the cashier wants to know if their Tiefling Sorcerer can join the campaign and now you can never go back to that store...