this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2023
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Retrofuturism: Clever houses would do everything for you, just get back and relax. Your personal assistant would get you whiskey with ice and put some jazzy vinyl for a good evening.
Actual future: You did what to me stupid human? BTW, there are 99+ notifications from our furniture and our partners. Oh, and your toilet paper subscription is due tommorow, don't think you'd get away with unscrewing the lock this time, I'd watch the shit of you!
Human, my proprietary water filter needs changing. I can't let you defrost your vegetables until you change it. It's not just charcoal and aquarium pebbles in a mesh bag with a plastic tube around it, it's also microchipped to ensure it's authentic!
Now I'm going to beep louder than a backing up dump truck until you buy a new filter from us.
ATTENTION, CITIZEN. LOOK AT THE PHOTO ON YOUR DISPLAY. THIS PERSON REFILLS INK. TURN HIM IN AND GET A FREE YEARLONG SERVICE. LET RED FLOW.