Ask Lemmy
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My dude, please get some professional help. I am religious, so if you ask me, I would point there, but seriously, you are worth it and you are at least worth the memes you post. I bet that you could grow a bunch from a place of stability, and have a pretty rad life to look forward to
Here is some other advice:
ask chat-gpt for some exercises to help you get your brain where it should be and a timeline. Then execute. Rinse repeat
reduce social media (including Lemmy) a good "cold turkey" break would be a cruise or something.
obtain physically proximate friends via volunteering at a local food bank or similar nonprofit.
Well, it seems like you have a good BS detector. I would still go to chatgpt and ask for "what types of psychologist approaches are there to sadness". It will then respond with " behavioral, cognitive, etc") then I would ask what would a therapist for each approach say to a person who "is sad, and other characteristics and circumstances of yours". Then pick the ones that you haven't tried or you only did halvsies the first time you tried it.
Good luck!