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What is your dark side/qualities and what do you "see" in others they are likely unconscious of? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by cheese_greater@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] raubarno@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My dark side: I feel disengaged in my duties, I tend to flee away from teamwork and skip deadlines, especially when the workflow is stressful. Of course, mates hate me for that :(

Others' inconsistencies I see: tendency to make careless decisions without thinking twice, or miscommunication (incorrect wording) of intended actions, especially in programming and/or designing things. Also, not admitting an expectation to get some sort of reward/compensation when giving things for free.

Example:

A: You gave me this, thank you! What can I do/buy to you in return?
B: No need, thank you.
(one year later)
B: I gave you that, so I want you to do something in return.
A: You told me I'm not obliged to repay you!
B: You should've understood it by yourself!
A: ...(Reimu mode activated)

Jokes aside, I am generous but this unspoken liability pisses me off.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

One thing I've learned is that sometimes free shit actually costs you, but the weird part is if you defbrief yourself when its likely you're being manipulated or there was an attempt, you can try to train yourself to cut them loose that instant and make you owe nothing(!) if its a non-correctable pattern and you can likely still sleep it off like a champ!

Obviously a nuclear option facially, but you can tone it down while still benefitting from the rheory of mind understanding of "their game

Edit: felt called to add that by psychologically turning the game around, you get to do 3 things:

Materially benefit
Demonstrate an anti-pattern to narcissists that non-verbally transmits that people or at least one person is on to their game and winning. Like bright colors helping insect avoid the dharma cycle ;)
You come out intact