this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy

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Would a federated dating site work well? What would it look like? (startrek.website)
submitted 1 year ago by swab148@startrek.website to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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Basically title, every bit of online dating nowadays is either Match or Meta, and we're all about breaking corporate chains right?

So these are the thoughts I had:

  1. Matches based on simple user selection: age range, lifestyle, hobbies etc. None of that dumb algorithm stuff that makes you reset your profile every month.

  2. ActivityPub protocol so that anyone can run their own instance, but can also be blocked if anything heinous happens.

  3. E2EE for messaging (and anything else if it's possible).

  4. Someone wrote an open-source anti-CSAM script for Lemmy recently, I hope we could adapt that to our use.

  5. Just, like, everyone have a good time on this app, we're here for love lol

I am not a coder, so I would have no idea how to do this, but I wonder about the interest in such a creation. Maybe some of you out there could make something I could use to get a date (pls).

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[โ€“] SHamblingSHapes@lemmy.one 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I never understood reddit as a dating site. And the problems there are only amplified on Lemmy.

  1. user density in the geographic region I would date within. With reddit, at least I was quite sure there were other users within an hours drive of me

  2. it's not a dating site and not set up with the guardrails needed to make it even marginally safe. If a person on Bumble starts being scary, there are some ways to report then and they will possibly be removed or restricted from the platform. On reddit and Lemmy, the responses will be one of the following "free speech, get wrecked", "if you don't want to be abused/harassed, you shouldn't go into public spaces", or "you signed up for the site, you asked for it", or "give them a chance, they are probably just not good at dating skills" or even Andrew Tate acolyte bullshit that I don't want to think about.

  3. distribution of gender and of sexual orientation across the platform. I would be surprised if Lemmy userbase is less than 95% men. Unless those men are gay/bi at an improbably high rate, there aren't going to be many people available to match with.

  4. "everyone have a good time, we're here for love" says the hordes of people who are actually here to waste time with no intention to actually date, cruise for nudes, or to data mine peoples personal information.

Tl;Dr if actual dating apps are not bringing a person dating success, nothing about Lemmy will be any better.

[โ€“] serratur@lemmy.wtf 9 points 1 year ago

Gay nerd dating site