this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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[A picture of Pepe the frog frowning while holding a gun to its head]

I hit another level this weekend /r9k/

>be me
>like this coworker
>finally get the courage to talk to her
>holy shit things are going well
> invites me to hangout on friday
> says her friends are burning books that go against Christianity
>seriously wtf
>whatever she’s hot
>gets the address

>it’s friday
>don't understand if I’m supposed to bring my own books
>buy $300 worth of anti-christian books
>put them in two big trash bags
>head over to book burning

>See coworker
>say hi
>"what are in the bags anon..?"
>"I...I brought books for the burning."
>"Anon I was joking about the book burning"
>it’s a normal fucking party
>don't know what to do
>pretend to get a call
>walk away and leave books
> start running home leaving my car

I snuck back on Saturday and got my car, but I think I have to fucking quit work now. Theres no way I can see her again.

What should I do? I have a shift on Wednesday.

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[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 188 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Anon could have salvaged this if he didn't run away. It could have made for a killer party story

[–] protist@mander.xyz 156 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The act of withdrawing when feeling embarrassed is 90% of the problem. Playing it off, owning up to the mistake, or laughing at yourself are all almost guaranteed to have a better outcome

[–] 009_Sound_System@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (10 children)

In this situation what could have anon done? It seems like he fucked up so bad, it’s unsalvageable. What do you say? Like maybe continue with the bit?

[–] Azzu@lemm.ee 47 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean there's no way to "salvage" it, because buying $300 worth of books for intolerant book burning you don't really believe in does reveal you to actually have no principles and to want do a lot just to be liked.

The best thing to say is to explain exactly that and genuinely express that you understand it is a problem and you're working on it, which of course anon couldn't because there's no indication of this level of self-awareness.

But if they would, they might still be shunned, but it is very unlikely imo. Good people understand trauma and appreciate trying to work through it.

[–] TALL421@lemmy.one 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Personally I would just fess up and say you bought the book's to fit in with the group. You're still dumb but lovingly dumb at least, the best kind! Sometimes

[–] thrawn@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Man I guess, but like, I’d be pretty unimpressed if a friend was like “ok I’m in we’re burning books”. Really shouldn’t be that easy to convince a reasonable person to do it.

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

These are people at a party. People do wild things at a party all the time. Under normal circumstances, sure, I would say you're right. But at a party, anything goes. Honestly, Anon found himself in the best of positions and screwed it up. It was perhaps the only circumstance where someone could say, "let's do some stupid shit that makes zero sense and goes completely against our beliefs and values," and other people would just say, "lol sure why not"

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Party and burn the books anyway

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

"Lmao I though you were serious."

"Omg really?"

"Yeah, lol, you want a book on the evils of Christianity?"

"Absolutely, that's hilarious."

[–] imkali@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

yeah i figured it was just a normal party, i got these books for a bonfire or something

could argue theyre antichristian as a joke because of the conversation they had ig

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

You don't even need to say that it's a joke. You were told that it was going to be a Christian book burning party. I think most people would assume by default that you just went with it because you didn't know what else to do. Peer pressure works, and nobody's going to fault you for that. Especially if you make it clear that you don't actually believe in burning books.

Honestly if people were going to give you shit, it would most likely be for getting bamboozled. And that's significantly more salvageable than whatever Anon did

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

No, just say that you thought the other person was being serious and laugh it off. Maybe tell it to the other party-goers. Heck, give them a book so that you don't need to lug so many books around. They get a laugh and a memorabilia for the story, you get to play it off. People go along with stupid shit all the time, they won't judge you for a single "ok, that's weird but I'll do it" moment.

Honestly, most things are only awkward if you make it awkward.

[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Hmm - well you're looking cold... What do you say we have a bonfire - I came prepared!

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 5 points 1 year ago

The key is to start understanding that most laughter is not someone laughing at you or with you, it's just laughter. They're laughing. Laugh too! "I really wanted to make a good impression, I'm so embarrassed!" If you focus on talking about how you feel like you e made a mistake they'd probably even give you sympathy.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Act like he went too far with the joke

[–] BastingChemina 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In this situation the easiest would simply be like that

"what are in the bags anon..?"
"I...I brought books for the burning."
"Anon I was joking about the book burning"
"Oops" proceed to discreetly put the bag of books back in the car or in a corner and continue the party. Maybe joke about it later in the night when everyone is feeling comfortable and ask if you really thought people would be burning books.

Real life is not like movies, it's full of fuck up like that. You can just let it go and people don't care.

It can become a cute story later when people asked how you met.

[–] Ilflish@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He can still salvage it if he's honest and can laugh at himself

[–] 13esq@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

To shreds you say?

[–] BlindFrog@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"On the bright side, I gave $300 to the cause against Christianity." ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Fuck it let's burn stuff 🔥