Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
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- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
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Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Cisgender people basically don't ever think about being the opposite gender. The fact that you're even questioning is practically guaranteed that you're at least some level of transgender. Whether or not it's bothering you enough to pursue it is something that you have to figure out for yourself unfortunately. It will all come down to how badly you want it, how accepting your friends and family are, and how accepting the society you live in is or how much you're willing to put up with from society at large.
Yeah, I was wondering if people did. Reactions is what is part of what scares me to even find out though. Seeing how brave others are on here though certainlh helps.
I think at least when it comes to you deciding if you are or aren't transgender just in your own head, I would consider a perfect scenario where everyone is 100% accepting and you'll face absolutely no challenges as a result of transitioning. But once you've decided whether you are or aren't transgender then I would start considering your options and what you're comfortable with. Just because you're transgender that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to transition. Just knowing that in your own head or disclosing it to people you trust can be enough for some people.
My limited experience talking to people who I don't think would lie about it suggests to me men don't generally think about it. And according to at least one comment I saw on this topic, someone mentioned how some femboys have never considered the idea.
Like, my brother can be GNC at times, but like he like being a GNC man. Even when I asked him to consider if he could have a matrix-like VR experience what type of body would he want, he thought the idea of having a feminine body seemed fun, but he still wanted to be a man and just thought trolling could be fun.
My cousin consistently plays stereotypical male characters in video games and cares about how they look.
My best friend similarly always plays a male character and seems proud about how their character presents. And has teased me for sometimes making a girl character (in one case, I suppose it was more making fun of me using a feminized version of my own name for the character... that was a decade before I considered I might not be entirely cis).
I would assume that anyone negatively affected by sexism / gender roles (nearly everyone) has thought about being a different gender.
I assumed "thought about being a different gender" in this context meant "actively desiring it irrespective of negative impacts of sexism and gender roles." Such that, even if one could magically take away those negative impacts, the desire would remain.
For what it's worth I (cis, a man) have felt less than a man on occasion and have always been more of the quiet, sensitive, bookish type. Sure, I have pondered being another gender briefly here or there -- as a thought experiment or trying to empathize, perhaps -- but I have never seriously wanted to trade being a man for any reason. I want to stay how I am, actually.
Hopefully this is helpful to some.
There are quite a few mainstream series and movies that touched upon the subject (albeit mostly poorly). So in that regard most people will have at least thought about it once. Probably not for long though.