this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Having kids. I love my kids, but if I could go back and not have them I absolutely would. Never have kids until you're financially comfortable. Fuck, the struggle is fucking real.
I really admire the honesty and bravery it took to write this comment. Thank you for sharing.
It is a sad reality that I hate even thinking about. I love these little bastards to pieces, but the money thing is killing me. I'm in a spot where I'm "too rich" to qualify for any government help and too poor to be able to afford it on my own.
My wife and I had a similar conversation the other day. The kids were being a handful, and she said, "Why do people even have kids?"
And I said it's because society lies to you. "You'll never feel emotionally/mentally/financially ready for kids. Just do it!"
I always tell people that you need to be 110% sure. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but I sure do miss the quiet, free time, and extra money.
That's basically the biggest lie/bullshit you can ever hear. You can always be ready for kids. I just need $75+k a year and I'll be more than happy.
And for most people that day never comes and THAT'S PERFECTLY FINE. It is horrifying that something as extreme as creating a human from nothing is seen as something that people should just do. Baffling.
I feel this. I still don't have kids of my own, but my parents had some rough patches which I hope I learn from and don't repeat; thankfully I only realised most of that when I grew up.
Much respect to your parents and you. Raising kids has been the most difficult thing I've done in my life, and I've been deployed into war zones twice.