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Right? Like, I guess if one of my few friends got a serious brain injury and become a totally different, terrible person, I'd sob for hours, maybe days, mourning the person I lost. But that's the caliber of life event it would take. None of these people are going to get a new job or new partner and become a murderous bigot. Often this sort of change in a person is predicated by something personal, someone in their life from the relevant group hurts them. But I'm the truama informed friend that everyone comes to when fucked up things happen. If someone deeply and personally hurt one of my friends to the point that it could change them as a person, they'd be on my couch, smoking my weed, processing with me.