this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2023
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I'll say this once and slowly... FUCK. THE. POLICE.
Official Notification - Protocol 5815384 - User: chemicalprophet
Dear User chemicalprophet,
This message serves as an official notification under Protocol 5815384. We hereby inform you that your calculated probability of engaging in criminal activities has experienced an increase of 14.56%, leading to a cumulative total of 45.32% to date.
Your current classification is as follows: CATEGORY - SLIGHTLY SUSPECT
Please be advised that no enforcement actions have been initiated at this time.
How about you say it twice?