Asklemmy

I used to be a delivery guy at a local pizzeria. One of the other delivery guys was the laziest piece of shit I could imagine.

There was one time they couldn't find him, his car was there, the delivery car was there, and he wasn't exactly the type of guy to go take a walk, so they figured he had to be in the store somewhere. Eventually they found him taking a nap in the walk-in, he brought a chair down with him and hid behind a wall of our buckets of cheese and sauce.

Another time they found him taking a nap in the delivery car, engine running, music blasting, seat reclined parked right in front of the store.

We were one of the rare places that had their own delivery cars, and he constantly left trash in them. I was about the only guy who ever bothered to clean them out (to be fair we only ever had about 3-4 delivery guys) There was one night I cleaned it out, he worked the day shift the next day, and I worked the next night, and when I came in the car was filled with trash again. He worked nights at a gas station in the area, so when I stopped that night to get gas, I brought in the bag of trash that I again had cleaned out and called him out for trashing the car again in such a short amount of time. I then took the bag out with me because I'm not an asshole, and threw it away properly. The next time he worked he was telling our coworkers that I dumped the trash on his counter at the gas station, which everyone knew immediately was a crock of shit (but they also all agreed that I totally should have done it.)