this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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It's not an excuse or an opinion. It's the history of our species.
The only difference now is it's just a lot easier to be that way.
I doubt you have met our entire species. You know who you have met? Loud, obnoxious people... Because they are there to be noticed. But there is a selection bias here. Most people are actually really nice but you don't see them because they don't get into fights, they don't argue, they let things go etc.
I'd like to share your optimism... but I've seen some of those "really nice" people who "don't get into fights, they don't argue, they let things go etc" when they're in their homes, behind closed doors, when they think nobody's watching them, when they believe everybody's on their side... I've heard some of them through walls... I've seen what they've done to others... and too many of them turned out to be not nice at all.
I on the other hand might argue, have gotten into a few fights, don't let some things go... maybe you'd call me "not nice"... I call myself "tired of being a doormat"... despite coming to this safe space to be nice, and maybe remember, or sometimes learn, how to be nice.
You sound like me 10 years ago.
How did that work out?
I think 20 years ago I still sounded like @1984@lemmy.today... but I keep seeing proof to the contrary, and wouldn't want to end up in 30 years like someone who, after asking someone else for help, then proceeds to tear them a new one because they only wasted 2 hours of their own time, before confiding in me: "I don't trust people".
Maybe I've lost faith in humanity... did you gain it back? And if so, how?
I just grew as a person I guess. I'm not the same person I was 10 years ago and I'm sure I'll be different in the next 10 years if I'm still around.
I also cut a lot of people out of my life and cut a lot of certain interactions out of my life. Like for example, I got of 4chan in 2020. I use to be a troll - the kind of person OPs post is complaining about - and now I'm very against it. I always prefer to be honest online instead of just saying whatever to get a response.
I try to have more good faith discussions now instead of antagonizing people.
But I said I sounded like you 10 years ago cause I remember hanging out with people in person, at their houses and at parties and on the streets.. I felt like an observer. It felt like I knew a lot about other people cause I was always listening in.
What changed is that I stopped listening in on those people. Went out of my way to go meet other people instead. Now I'm not seeing those patterns I use to see among the previous groups I hung out in.
I have some faith in humanity but only because I sit around theorizing how to make things better. It's just a theory though. So I know its possible but to make it happen, would take the kind of work and time I don't have and I have no reach.