this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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Men's Liberation

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This week’s prompt is:

“This is a patriarchal truism that most people in our society want to deny. Whenever women thinkers, especially advocates of feminism, speak about the widespread problem of male violence, folks are eager to stand up and make the point that most men are not violent. They refuse to acknowledge that masses of boys and men have been programmed from birth on to believe that at some point they must be violent, whether psychologically or physically, to prove that they are men.”

― bell hooks, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

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[–] who8mydamnoreos@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I would argue that boys are programmed to believe that men are supposed to be martyrs, which leads to a sense of entitlement over their nonexistent sacrifice. Denial of that entitlement leads to anger, violence, etc.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't really agree with that. Rather, everyone is raised with some sense of becoming a martyr. Women sacrificing themselves in care jobs or at home is an example. Men sacrificing themselves at war or to protect the society or their home is the other.

I'm not sure whether it's a Christian thing or older. Maybe it's a human society thing even.

[–] who8mydamnoreos@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I would say that seeing women as martyrs for staying home with their families while men go sacrifice themselves historically as cannon fodder and plow horses is another source of anger.

[–] spaduf 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

While I think you are touching on something important with the sense of martyrdom, I very much disagree with the idea that the violent aspects of patriarchal masculinity are somehow a result of that.

[–] who8mydamnoreos@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I very much disagree with bell hooks assertion that men are programmed from birth to be violent.

[–] spaduf 0 points 1 year ago

She's talking about gendered societal expectations, not biological essentialism.