this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
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That's not exactly true. They're fine with you being their temporarily, even for a few years. Try to raise a family there and that consideration goes away.
Want to say that my personal experience nearly matches yours. I was allowed in the birthing room and held my wife’s hand as she gave birth. I was allowed to hold my son for approximately 30 seconds. Then I was kicked out of the hospital and not allowed to return for over a week. I was also expected to be back at work pretty much immediately.
Finding changing rooms I can use is definitely a trial. I typically assume I won’t be able to find one, and if my wife isn’t with me I plan to use the backseat of my car or similar arrangement.
The hoikuen workers (approximately translates to daycare, if you don’t know) don’t talk to me when I pick up my son, which is nearly every day. On the rare opportunity that my wife’s schedule allows her to get him, they won’t stop talking about every detail.
Yeah, gender roles are pretty fixed, and challenging said roles is hard.
That's exactly what I've been doing for about 20 years as a matter of fact. No real trouble whatsoever myself, but I can't even count the number of times now I've seen people give my Chinese wife shit and then fumble all over themselves when I (an American) walk up and introduce myself. One old guy at a ramen shop even had the balls to try to explain how much better western and Japanese girls are, while she was sitting right next to me.
Question: but how can they tell she's not Japanese (I'm assuming she speaks Japanese)? E.g. many Europeans could pass as being from anywhere in the Americas+Europe as long as they don't say anything and dress like a local. Are they that sensitive to facial structure differences?
What? Are you really saying you couldn't tell if someone is from Spain or Russia? Germany or UK? Hair colour, eyes colour, skin colour, height, facial features are all completely different. Try finding blonde, 1.9m tall Spaniard with blue eyes for example. There are exceptions obviously, but 99% of the time you can easily spot a Brit/German/Polish/Russian in Spain. The same is true for Asia. I'm sure it's very easy for them to tell Japanese/Chinese/Korans/Indians apart.
Sure, the percentages of certain traits in the population are radically different, but there is always enough variation within the population that you can find combinations without automatically having to conclude that the person is foreign. Maybe the variation is smaller within Japan, I know it's larger in China, so maybe a Japanese woman would blend easier in China than the reverse?
I can only judge from media and people i met here in Europe, but for all of them the facial structure is pretty distinct between chinese and japanese people.
chinese, japanese, koreans, and orher asians have different facial features and are typically easily distinguishable
This would be after she's introduced herself, but you can make a pretty good guess about most Asian people once you get used to the differences as well
I'm raising a family here in Japan. Pick them up from daycare, take them to the clinic when sick, go to bars, talk to cabbies. Never had a hint of negativity about it.
Sure there's xenophobia in Japan, lots of it, but I've never seen this meme of "they love tourists but when they hate it when you move there!" that people (who mostly have not lived in Japan) repeat online.
If anything, the examples of racism I see are the opposite - they dislike tourists who barge into small corner bars and violate local manners, but if you live there, speak the language and show an understanding of the customs they're fine with you.