I am my gfs first partner, she is my second. The girl I dated prior (for 6 months) was a vlogger and for like 3 months made a lotta relationship and prank videos wth me which I was fine with at the time. Now my current gf is my first ever real crush and Ive been into her for a decade.
So my gf stalked my ex somehow, idk how consodering Im not on social media myself (this account is the literal exception). She then asked a LOT of questions about my ex, I dodged just about every question. After that she just pulled away and was distant and would barely talk to me or meet up. She finally told me she found my ex's yt channel and watched every single thing on there.
Now I think Ive been VERY understanding and comforting to her, reassuring her literally every day since, being very loving and romantic to the point of cringing myself out. But she never really got over what she saw, idk if she rewatched that stuff or not but it was def smth thats always been in the back of her mind. She also knows that I broke up with my ex since I was moving countries and not bc the relationship was bad.
Now for the terrible part, smth i truly did not remember was that me and my ex had made a more personal video which was still saved somewhere on my laptop. I absolutely did not know of this and if I did I woulda gotten rid of it. Now my gf has access to my laptop (with my approval ofc) and she somehow stumbled upon it, I caught her curled up in my bed absolutely bawling her eyes out with the video playing on my desk. I have never felt this disgusting.
This is the first time my gf has denied my hug for comfort or just been so repulsed by me, she wont touch me while i explained everything, I deleted said video infront of her and begged her for a week. First she told me she needed to think things over but knowing her she wanted me chasing and I did just that, second week Ive given her space and theres been no change. We have had 2 dry 5 min convos in the last week.
How do I fix this or make it upto her???
Tl;dr: Gf found an old personal video involving an ex and wont talk to me anymore.
If she can’t accept that people have relationships with others, she’s mental
I wouldnt wanna see my partners sex tape either! I dont think shes wrong to feel this way.
You are correct to think she isn't "wrong" to feel this way, her experience is valid and she has a right to feel however she feels. It's her response and actions that I think are the problem here. If I found a sex tape of my spouse I might be upset, but if they immediately deleted the video and if it wasn't part of a pattern of infidelity I don't think it would be a big deal for me.
I honestly don't think you fucked up here, at least given the information that we have. If having that video was a mistake then you should have deleted it... which you did immediately as soon as you were reminded of the video existing. People forget things all the time, and IMO your response to becoming aware of it again sounds like it was perfect.