this post was submitted on 29 Aug 2023
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I think a lot of the stigma comes from terfs* and attempts from the alt-right to sow division to divide and conquer. Terfs often present themselves as lesbians and are extremely vocal about how only cis women are lesbian, trans women aren't women, etc. Then you have other aspects of the alt-right who talk about how trans women aren't real women and real lesbians will know the difference. The result is that it looks like there are more people with these beliefs than there actually are (the alt-right is very, very good at harnessing social media to make themselves seem louder than they actually are).
I know this isn't the case, I consciously am aware that the vast majority of lesbians are supportive of trans people. I know a number of people who are lesbian and are very much supportive of the trans community. And yet, this belief has been so deeply sown that I still find myself questioning whether someone is a real ally or not. I hate that.
* Fuck letting terfs rebrand as "gender critical". I believe people can be critical towards the concept of gender and believe we should be moving away from associating behavior and personality traits with someone's sex, while still being supportive of trans and non-binary folks.
I agree. As a newly realized member of this community this stuff is very difficult and disheartening for me. It makes me afraid to pursue finding a more authentic self, because, what if I end up more alone? I already have a very lonely life, and can't imagine becoming more unlovable.
Seek out others in the community, we are all here for you!! :)
While I also can't say this as a 100% guarantee, it's a pretty common story for those seeking their more authentic self to become happier and that usually helps them find and maintain some social ties easier! It's amazing how much more comfortable and confident you can be when you're really you, and other people love being around someone like that! (This was the case for myself and like 5 other people I know out of my rather already small friend group)
I hope you find somewhere where you can put those anxieties to rest for a bit <3